so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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