I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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