Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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