I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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