At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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