Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
There's even glitter on my cock...
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