Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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