Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
