Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
