You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
