Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
