There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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