and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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