We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
