i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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