just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
