I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
