Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
