The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
