i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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