: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
