Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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