Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
