Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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