I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I will pee on everything he values.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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