Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
