Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
