they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
