you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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