exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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