his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
