We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
