so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
