In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
