so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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