she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
