Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
