D3 body, D1 cock
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
