Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Randomize
