i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
