I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
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