She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Randomize
