Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize