my sisters under your porch take her home
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
