I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
