garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
