he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
