the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
