I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
