1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
