Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
