you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
