I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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