god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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