I want to stick my p in your. b.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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