Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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