I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
