Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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