I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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