Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
