I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
