She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We have started to decorate penises.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
