Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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