soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
