Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
